6 Mississippi
by martindeporres
Summary: As he's going out the door, leaving for the North Pole, Leonard decides to speak to Penny again and settle their status once and for all. One shot.


6 Mississippi's

Leonard and Sheldon prepared to carry their gear downstairs and meet up with Raj and Howard downstairs before beginning the first leg of their 3 month journey to the North Pole.

As Sheldon headed down stairs with the last of their gear; Leonard, locked their door and glanced one more time towards Penny's Apartment door. He was almost afraid to walk down the stairs. He was afraid that when he came back her apartment wouldn't be there anymore, that Penny wouldn't be there anymore. Three months could be the dividing line between staying friends and possibly becoming closer than ever before or losing what friendship they had built up.

He drew a deep breath and let out a very heavy sigh. His chest ached and his stomach grew queasy.

He replayed the conversation over and over again that he had just had with Penny a few minutes ago.

"It was just a hug." She had said.

But to Leonard it wasn't just a hug. Penny had hugged him several times over the last two years and although a few were long, none of them carried the intensity of this last one.

Then the conversation just a little while ago although at first seemed to settle everything as he revisited it word by word. He focused on Penny's facial expressions and to him now it seemed to betray the very words she uttered to him.

That she would notice that he wasn't there. That the combination of wine, late night TV and a credit card were a bad combination and that their hug was just a hug?

Who was she kidding?! And what was he thinking?!

_She doesn't want me to go! _he thought.

_But I have to go! I made a commitment to Sheldon and to the NSF._

_I cannot let it stand like this. Three months is too long. She'll forget about me and she'll move on. I have to tell her how I feel. Go for broke. Even if she denies her feelings at least she knows how I feel about her. Go on! Do it!_

Inside of her apartment, Penny sat on her sofa with her legs crossed and holding one of her sofa pillows close to her breast as though the comfort of the pillow would take away the sting of being alone for the next three months. Sure she had her friends she went dancing with and her co-workers at the Cheesecake Factory. But what scared her most is that she was realizing how close she had become with and especially how much she ached for Leonard. She cried again and buried her face in the pillow. While in one hand she held the pillow, her other hand held a wad of Kleenex. She had started to cry almost as soon as she had closed the door.

When she had hugged Leonard, she had held on to him as though she may never see him again but also in an attempt to wordlessly convey to him that she didn't want him to go.

When he had asked her what missing him, the blanket and the long hug meant, she had both silently screamed at Leonard and also cursed herself for not stating what she truly meant till after she had closed the door and silently said: "It meant I wish you weren't going".

_Oh God, what a fool I am. Why didn't I tell him I didn't want him to go? Now he's gone and I never told him how much I don't want him to go and now it's too late! 3 months might as well be three damn years! You're such a dumbass Penny!_

She brought the tissue and wedged the mass across her eyes and nose. She sobbed uncontrollably again and paused to try and catch her breath.

_Get a hold of yourself! Why are you crying like this?! _She demanded of herself.

What if he doesn't come back?! What if something happens to him?! He'll never know how much I miss him and that I...

She searched for the words carefully

_...and that I..._

...love him!

At that moment as she blew her nose and reached for a dry wad of tissue from the box, a knocking sound came from her door.

_Oh, God, who could that, be?! I don't want to see anybody!_

But the knock repeated itself and this time with a hurried and heavier intensity.

"Just a minute" her voice strained to assert itself.

She quickly wiped her tears. Grabbing a bottle of water she poured some drops on her hands and sprinkled them on her face and eyes to try and take the redness away. Wiping away the moisture with another wad, she made her way to the door slowly. The water didn't really help.

Once again the knocking beckoned at her.

"Hold on! Just a minute!" her voice strained to break off the tears it had been dueling with.

She opened the door and was shocked to see Leonard standing in front of her.

"Leonard!" she exclaimed. "Why haven't you left yet?!" She saw him just staring at her and she saw that he was ill at ease and fidgeting with his hands.

Leonard looked at her and read her face, how red it was and her eyes as well. He could read her mind and her heart and could see how saddened she was that he was leaving.

"Penny." He stated nervously. His voice almost cracked. He almost was going to ask her if she was okay, but he quickly shifted gears based on the questions he had asked her just a bit ago and had not received the answer he knew she wanted to say but was afraid to say it.

"Penny." He repeated with his heart pounding heavily and feeling like it would explode.

"Leonard" she repeated. "What is it?" "Aren't you going to be late?"

_Please say something! Are you staying! Please say you're staying!_

"Penny, although I can't stay, I want to say that I will... miss you... too"

Her heart sank. He was still leaving.

"I am in..."

_What!?_

"Penny, I am in such a state of confusion. Because although I have to leave, I cannot say goodbye without saying..."

_Say it Leonard, you fool! Before you lose the courage to ever say it again!_

Penny looked at him quizzically at first, her eyes and heart reaching for the words he wanted to say.

"...Without saying."

"I'm in love with you" _God! I finally said it! _

She blinked and was stunned to hear him say the words that she believed would never come out of his mouth, across his lips and into her ears and her heart. Penny closed her eyes for a moment and started crying partly because she was happy he told her, partly because she knew he wasn't staying and partly because she felt so guilty for not having had the courage to say she loved him first.

"Penny, please don't cry!" Leonard stepped closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders as they sank and rose with her sobs. With one hand he gently placed it under her chin and slightly lifter he head so he could look into her eyes.

"Penny, I'm in love with you. I love you. I don't know how I am going to handle being away for 3 months from your side. Just please..."

But before he could finish, she stepped towards him and as she closed her eyes and new tears rolled down her cheeks she thought about how now man had ever confessed his love for her, here was the moment she had always yearned for and dreamt about coming true in front of her and as she stepped towards Leonard she raised her hand put her finger on his lips to shush him and quickly opened her eyes and said:

"Leonard, I love you too!"

They both came together with the impact of his lips pressing gently on hers and taking her into his arms and pulling her body to his. She reacted with her pulling him closer to him and making two bodies one. He finally came up for air.

"I am in love with you and I love you. Please just don't forget about me." He declared and pleaded. Once he had declared his love he let it all go.

"I couldn't bear the thought of a world without you, Penny!" he stated hoping that this would seal their bind.

"Leonard, I am in love with you too!" she responded. The tears kept flowing. She hugged him.

Then he wiped her tears away with his fingers.

"I love you too!" she declared openly.

"Please don't forget about me too". She cried again.

How sad she thought that at the moment they had declared their love for each other, they would have to be separated for what to her would seem an eternity.

"It would be easier for the law of physics to be declared null and void." He stated and then smiled.

She laughed at his vain attempt at physicist's humor.

"I can never forget you and I will come back to you. I promise. Please wait for me" he pleaded again.

"Leonard!" Sheldon's voice traveled up the flight of stairs.

"We have to go. Time is of the essence!" he bellowed.

The reality hit them both like a splash of cold water. The moment they dreaded was here and there was no more holding it back.

"I'll be right down!" he yelled.

"I love you!" he repeated. "I'll be back. Please wait for me." He once again kissed her and held her tight, tighter than the hug she had given him. She held him equally close and drank in his lips and mouth.

"I love you too! I'll wait for you. You can count on it! Now get going and do your important scientific stuff!" She half chuckled half cried. She urged him on with a final wish.

"Good luck and please be safe. Come back to me!" she concluded.

"A Black Hole couldn't keep me from returning" he said.

As they separated, they both tried to stave off their eventual separation as long as possible. As they started to turn from each other, Leonard let her arm slide in his hand as long as possible.

He wanted to feel the rub of her skin against his for as long as possible and remember how it felt, forever. He was giddy and relieved. Thankful and happy he had finally summoned the courage to tell her how he felt. He was ecstatic that she loved him also.

As her hand slid into his, he tightened his grip and pressed his lips twice on the back of her hand and fingers.

"Goodbye my love, my Penny. I'll miss you" he stated.

"Bye!" She said.

And in few seconds he was gone.

She was on fire and he heart thumped powerfully under her breast. As happy as she was, as she closed the door behind her, she was still sad that he was gone. But know she knew he loved her and promised to return.

Penny then collapsed on the sofa and resumed her crying. But this time the crying came with a smile.


End file.
